the day after I met Tia

1 Nov 2024

the short story | my takeaways minus the waffle

It’s normal to feel intimidated by the people that inspire you. Surround yourself with them as much as you can anyway. Sit down with them, read about them, watch their content, ask questions if you have the opportunity. Accept the slight discomfort you feel as the price you willingly pay for the insight they can give you. The people that inspire you inspire you because they EDIT are where you want to be or achieved something / have something? Embrace the access you’ve been given to them, whatever that looks like. Frame it as an opportunity to learn from them. EDIT VALUE BOTH WAYS.

Success has more to do with the people around you then yourself. The most successful, influential and inspiring people you can think of will have had help along the way. They have support networks. Mentors. Teams. Let go of the idea that ‘going it alone’ is the only way that’s worthwhile or impressive. If the success you’re after is even possible that way, chances are it’ll take you much longer, the process will be less enjoyable and the EDIT outcomes won’t bring you the fulfillment you’re after etc won’t be as EDIT big.

the long story | Breakthrough Cooperation

One of the many books I started but never finished was Breakthrough by David Nurse.

Note to David Nurse should you ever stumble across this - please don’t take this as a sign I didn’t enjoy your book. I was enjoying it a lot. I’m just easily distracted.

I’m working on it.

I do remember him talking about Breakthrough Cooperation, so I at least got that far. Ooh actually I’ve just found a bookmark I’ve been looking for for years, so I can say there’s a good chance I got as far as page 78.

I’ve just decided I’m going to read it again, this time in full, and maybe I’ll even write about it. Good idea.

I digress.

Breakthrough Cooperation.

The basic concept is that to create breakthroughs in any area, we need input from others. We can’t, and shouldn’t try to, go it alone.

We should specifically work on building genuine connections with people where value flows in both directions.

Why did this come to mind? Because yesterday, I met Tia.

Having only just met her, I’m not sure it’s my place to write about her life, but I’m sat there having brunch (classy, I know) with her and Handstand Chloe*, unpacking how impressive they both are and noticing myself feeling slightly intimidated. Inspired, yes, but also intimidated.

*I met Chloe when she was teaching a handstand workshop, and as such, she will forevermore be known as Handstand Chloe so my mum knows who I’m talking about when she comes up in conversation.

So there I am, getting distracted by my uncomfortable feelings, wishing I had more to contribute to the conversation.

Thankfully, I’ve learnt over the years not to get in my own way (too much anyway). I know I want a better life, and I’ve lost the naivety that told me that process was going to be easy. I’ve learnt to embrace the idea that life shouldn’t be easy.

Sure, it would be nice to be sat at a table eating poached eggs feeling like I’ve got the most impressive list of achievements, set of skills and personality traits. To only spend time with people that are completely in awe of the things I can do in Excel. To limit myself to group activities where I can outsmart and outshine my company. But where’s the ‘fun’ in that?

‘Fun’ - a.k.a. an uncomfortable opportunity for growth

So I park my ego and divert my attention to the interesting person in front of me.

Her journey to date has been amazing. But d’you know what stuck out to me? Other people played a part in her success. And by the sounds of it, she probably wouldn’t be where she is without them.

Now, if your current mindset is telling you that that fact somehow takes something away from what she’s achieved, then I’d suggest that that’s an area you could probably do with giving some attention to. That way of thinking has more than likely been holding you back.

Who decided it was embarrassing to have help? That we should be ashamed of taking opportunities offered to us that we didn’t create for ourselves? That our achievements are diminished if we’ve had a single ounce of external input?

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there / thought that / bought the T-shirt. As a perfectionist-in-remission, I know what it’s like to be obsessed with ‘going it alone’ so I could actually feel proud of myself when I achieved something.

It sucked.

Achieving what I set out to took a lot longer. It was lonely. Much less enjoyable. And if I did manage to reach the outcome I was striving for, I didn’t have anyone invested in it to celebrate with. Plus, the process was so painful that I didn’t feel like celebrating anyway.

Let. That. Shit. Go.

Trust me, you’ll thank yourself later.

Putting to one side this little life lesson I feel compelled to impart (you’re welcome), why am I writing about this? Why did yesterday become a notable moment in my journey?

Because once I stopped being a twat and stepped out of my own way, the Universe* offered me a little something.

*I should say that if you’ve made it this far and have just been put off by my reference to the Universe - 1) regardless of what you believe it, it can be fun (NB the regular use of the word fun) to think of yourself as part of something bigger, and 2) I do this a lot so this might not be the website for you.

Tia has recently started a new job that she loves thanks, in large part, to something she tried on LinkedIn.

LinkedIn, for those of you that aren’t familiar, is a social networking site for professionals that allows users to connect with colleagues, find jobs, and learn new skills. Did I just copy and paste that from Google’s AI overview after searching ‘what is linkedin’? Yes. Yes I did.

I had a profile at one point but I never used the platform and deactivated my account years ago. If you haven’t read LINK my short story then you might not be aware but I actually have a regular, grown-up person’s job. I’m lucky enough to work part-time, in a role that I actually enjoy, with people I genuinely like. Jackpot, right? But it’s not something I can see myself doing in 5 years’ time. My specific job is so niche that it probably won’t even exist by then. So aside from making something out of escapes artists and escapes yoga, it’s in the back of my mind that it might be useful to put this other skillset I’ve acquired to better use at some point. I’ve just never been able to see how.

Until yesterday.

You’ll meet some people in life that expand your idea of what’s possible. This doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll find yourself sat having poached eggs with the next Steve Jobs. For us regular folks, existing in regular circles, these shifts will be fairly small. But don’t underestimate their potential impact.

Hearing Tia’s unconventional journey had the same impact on me as hearing Handstand Chloe’s for the first time. Both of them took a path forward that most people haven’t, and wouldn’t even if they had the chance. Because it’s less familiar. Less ‘safe’.

‘Safe’ - a.k.a. EDIT boring

That impact? In short, it got me thinking.

I see real value in the skillset I’ve developed in my ‘regular’ jobs over the years. I’ve learnt a lot. And I enjoy it. Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I can ramble on about most things for hours, but get me started on Excel only if you’re prepared to give up your day. I get a kick out of making sense of things. Of taking data and working out what it’s really trying to tell me. Plus, not to brag, but I’ve got a knack for being able to take that same data and present it both accessibly and aesthetically, which I feel is a crucial combination most Excel-fanatics overlook*.

*If you happen to be interested in why that matters to me, the answer is that, in my experience, most people don’t seem to see value in things that look complicated and messy. Whatever point you’re trying to make in life (but especially those that take hundreds if not thousands of data entries to explain) keep it simple EDIT and VISUAL? pretty, and watch it sink in…

So I have this thing I’m fairly sure I’m good at, that I enjoy, and that I’m interested in learning infinitely more about, but the particular role I’m in that allows me to do it has an expiration date. Which means I need to do something about it.

But do what?

I’m sure there are people out there that have used the typical social platforms for this particular topic, but I can’t personally see myself trying to explain my spreadsheets on the ‘Gram. Meeting Tia, and learning about the success she had using LinkedIn, has given me an alternative to consider and an idea to play around with over the next few months.

What could happen if I could find a way to offer value and promote my expertise on LinkedIn by sharing this nerdy passion of mine?

Now there’s a question I’d be interested to know the answer to…